Bingo Funniest Bingo Jokes
Saturday, 21 February 2009 14:00
Never risk a bingo joke with someone who is unable to comprehend it
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The addiction
I only play bingo on days that end in Y.
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The F-word
Q: How do you get a sweet, little old lady to say the F-word?
A: Get another little old lady to shout "BINGO!!!
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The Lady's name
Q) What do you call a lady addicted to gambling at bingo?
A) Betty!
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Bingo Vs Husband
Mary was on the telephone to her friend Joan, complaining about her lazy, good-for-nothing husband. After 20 minutes of this Joan said, ”My husband said I had to choose between him and bingo……. I'm gonna miss him …..!!”
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The Bingo Card !
A wife comes home at 3am, wearing an enormous diamond ring. Her husband meets her at the door and asks her where she got the ring
“I won it playing BINGO”, she says, “run me a bath will you, I want to soak.”
The next night the wife comes home at 3am again, this time she’s wearing a beautiful fur coat. Again her husband meets her at the door and asks her where the coat came from.
“I won again at the BINGO”, she says, “now be a darling and run me a bath will you?”
The next night the wife gets home at 3am, this time driving a brand new convertible. Her husband meets her at the door and asks her where on earth she got the new car from.
“Can you believe it, I won it playing BINGO! Now run me a bath so I can relax.”
She undresses, goes into the bathroom and then comes right back out. “Why did you only put one inch of water in the bathtub?” she asks.
“Well,” her husband answers, “I didn’t want you to get your bingo card wet”
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Could he fly?
One night, an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 8th floor apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to defend herself.
"Well, Your Honor," she replied coolly. "I figured that at 92, if he could make love to another woman, he could fly!"
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Bingo card
"Mark and Cons were playing Bingo. Mark kept looking over Cons shoulder saying, you’ve got that number, mark it off, you’ve got that number, mark it off.
After putting up with this for some time Cons got annoyed and said, why don’t you do your own sheet!?
Mark replied - I can’t its full !"
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The free space
It was a Ladies Only Night in the All Blonde Bingo Hall. The night had been pretty boring, not one single person had a BINGO all night. The last game was up for grabs, with a huge bingo prize of $3500.00 in the pot. The game drags on and on, and nearly every blonde in the house had to be on for the big blackout. Finally, G-47 was called, but still no shouts of "Bingo!" were heard. The frustrated caller finally gets up and throws the Bingo Machine off the stage. All the girls were shocked and the caller says: "I've just called every darn one of these 75 balls out of this machine and nobody has a Bingo? Just what number are you ladies waiting for?" All together, 412 blonde ladies shouted: "FREE SPACE!"
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The Ten Commandments Of Bingo
Thou shalt not sit in thy neighbours lucky seat.
Thou shalt not stare at thy neighbours card.
Thou shalt not take the Callers name in vain.
Thou shalt not call false "Bingo".
Thou shalt not wish bad luck on thy neighbour.
Thou shalt not threaten to kill the "Caller".
Thou shalt not steal thy husband's money for Bingo.
Thou shalt not brag about how much thou hast won.
Thou shalt not whine about how much thou hast lost.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours winnings.
